What does it mean for a man’s actions to match his words?..
Isn’t it true that we rob ourselves of our primal masculine essence – our rawness, our realness our true masculinity – when we make a promise and then we lie to ourselves?
Don’t we become smaller, more feminine, more chaotic and less sublime in our pervasiveness and presence when what we say to ourselves, and then to others, holds no real stock?
When you do what you say, and uncompromisingly honour those agreements which you make with yourself, you are fully expressed in your masculinity. You are doing what must be done. Which is all there really is to do. We really do spend an extraordinary time doing everything but what must be done – it’s really no surprise that, by and large, we don’t get a lot done and spend a lot of life taking one step back for every two steps forward.
Perhaps more often than we think, all there is to do is find the beauty in silence – the magical pool from which everything springs forth, and eventually returns. Beethoven tells us to master the spaces in between the notes. Perhaps this has a spiritual application.
In any case, the first thing that must be done in the life of any man wishing to take his masculinity seriously, and be taken seriously by others, is to take a personal inventory of what must be done, what we say we will do, and what we know to do even if we never said it, and start doing it. A life’s work, indeed.
When a man’s actions match his words he can be relied on. He can be depended on, and therefore he is able to be a support to those around him. He will be someone that others look to for guidance. The essence of true masculinity, I believe, begins with the agreements we make with others and with ourselves, and the extent to which we take them seriously and honour them as we honour ourselves and our lives: that is, fully.
It is time now for this post, and myself to return back into silence.
Photograph by Sean Kernan