The communities we engage with actually shape our experience of life during the periods we engage with them, and impact on the results we get out of life during those periods. In this way they are a fundamental aspect of whether we grow, and become successful (in whichever capacity we wish to define our success) or we are held back, and continue to experience cycles of negativity, drama, unworkability, and poverty (in whichever way we choose to define poverty).
Quite simply put, you are who you hang out with.
There’s a saying in the self-improvement seminar circuit that you are the sum-total of the 5 people you spend the most time with, in terms of your salary, health, well-being, out look etc. Could changing this 5-strong team change the results you have in life?
Communities, however, have the potential to either excel our growth or hold us back.
The communities to which I am referring to might be friendship groups, singular friends that might be toxic (again, however innocent or “nice” they might be), places that you hang out, partners, and particularly any group that is formed around the consumption of anything addictive such as smoking, drug-taking, or drinking.
Let’s stop with the theory and nut down to some real life – hands dirty examples of some innocuous communities that ended up having a subtle but marked negative affect on my own life (disclaimer: I am 100% resposible for everything that works and everything that doesn’t in my own life)
1. The backpacking community (read: running around the world to avoid facing problems back at home)
2. The smoking household (It’s utterly impossible to quit permanently when you live with people that smoke)
3. Living with people with mental health problems (My road to recovery from depression began when I stopped surrounding myself with people that were depressed. No matter how much you might love the people who are holding you back, their stuff is their stuff. Not your circus, not your monkeys.)
4. Friends that don’t have their sh*t together.
That’s quite enough. I’m sure there’s enough above for us all to relate to, to some small degree. Before I stop, however, as I don’t like to make a practice of leaving things on a negative note, below is a list of communities that have positively impacted my life.
1. The hare-krsna community.
2. My family.
3. Local churches and ministers.
4. Business and self-improvement seminars including Landmark, Anthony Robbins, Eric Thomas etc (you’re guaranteed to find a few winning connections at places like this).
5. AA and NA.
6. Deliberately positioning myself around people who had that which I wanted but did not yet have, asking them how they did it, and reproducing.
Have a look at the communities in your life, map them out visually if you wish, and have a good hard look about how they are impacting you and your life. I would suggest, given that you manifested these communities in your current state, if you are wishing to move to a higher vibration and get results that you never thought possible through the prism of your current world, that cutting these away and conserving your energy while honouring yourself is a good way to start, and to then attach yourself to the new communities that form around you, as these were manifested in light of you being someone who is honouring them self. Anyone who you manifest during this period will act like energetic glue to keep you in a place like that, rather than as energetic glue to something that you really need to get away from to move forward.
I hope this has helped in some small way. Indeed, changing the communities that I am a part of, and further, stripping away almost all of them, has been the one of the biggest parts of the shift towards a more masterful life in these early stages. I wish you each the best in your own journeys.
With all my love,