So you’re all grown up now.. time to BE it.

Did you ever think being an adult would look like this?

When I was 6 years old I was going to be a lawyer. When I was in year 12 I was going to be an actuary. I’m nearly 24 years old now, and I never even went to uni (properly).

I can wash my clothes, cook my food, and make a bed nice as you please.

But I’m still not an adult yet.

I can make a woman come as many times as I like, do my taxes, and talk politics if I need to. I know about health insurance, have had a business, managed offices for charities and gave up drinking and the party long, long ago.

And I am still a child.

I am, however, as interested now as I was as a 6 year old boy in how to ‘adult’ properly, and I’ve not yet made as much progress as I might have, thanks to the lure of the party many years ago, the open road not long after that, and the endless temptation of women thereafter – all of which I let stop me from doing what must be done.

But who cares about me. You care about you. And you, like me, could probably do with a Marauder’s Map for how to be an adult and skip the excruciating gnawing of trying to find your way in life with no idea how you got where you are or how to get where you’re going.  .. The irony of a children’s book reference in a piece on how to adult is not lost on me *wry smile*

All my life I insulated myself from responsibility. I never took out loans, never did anything that would tie me to any one place and never committed myself to anything truly long term. And instead I searched. I tried to find meaning in every nook and cranny and I delved into everything with enthusiasm including spirituality, activism, drugs, communes, backpacking and reading widely. In reality, I found very little apart from an elaborate story of world travel that I used to perpetuate the problems I’d gone looking to solve.

Let me tell you from first hand experience, what you’re looking for isn’t in South East Asia, it’s not at the top of the Eiffel tower, it’s not between the legs of a Parisian, either. It’s not on red double decker buses, it’s not in music festivals, it’s not in The Power Of Now, it’s not in sex. It’s not in sex. It’s not in sex. It’s not in sex. It’s not in sex. (It’s not in celibacy, either – although it doesn’t hurt along the way)

Where is it? I don’t know. But I do know that it’s not coming to me acting like a child, and it will only come to me when I step into my manliness and embrace what it is to be truly grown up. To take on some responsibility. To be self-reliant. To not borrow money. To not need to. To get my effing P’s. To get a house. To make it a home.

I have also recently learned that it wont come to me while I’m coming to it. Nothing you chase ever gets caught and kept. Truly. A flower doesn’t chase a bee, a flower blossoms and the bee comes, my teacher often says. So this is the access. To blossom.

What does blossoming look like in your life? Perhaps it’s to stop batting your eyes and expecting a man to solve your problems and make everything okay. Perhaps it’s to give up your independent women act and learn to trust and love a man and honour him as the man he can be for you. Maybe it’s to stop being mummy’s little boy. Maybe it’s to move out of home. It could be to get a financial plan in order, or to give up drinking. It could be anything. Whatever that thing you’re thinking of right now – that’s probably it.

591-934x
This bloke knows what’s up. Here he is with his 100 days sober medallion from AA

So.. we’ve got work to do, Major Tom.

Having stripped away bad food, alcohol, drugs, supplements, prescriptions, caffeine, smoking, sex, veganism (my most tightly coveted attachment), my girlfriend, friends that do not serve, Facebook, Instagram, modelling (for the most part), my music library, all but what was necessary of my wardrobe, porn, masturbation, self-help books, Landmark courses .. I’m feeling pretty fucking bare. I’m not sure that this is what being an adult looks exactly like for everyone, but for me this is it. Getting my life together. Doing it NOW.

More soon, the struggle is real.

-M

Advertisements

When A Man’s Actions Match His Words.

What does it mean for a man’s actions to match his words?..


Isn’t it true that we rob ourselves of our primal masculine essence – our rawness, our realness our true masculinity – when we make a promise and then we lie to ourselves?

Don’t we become smaller, more feminine, more chaotic and less sublime in our pervasiveness and presence when what we say to ourselves, and then to others, holds no real stock?

We do.

When you do what you say, and uncompromisingly honour those agreements which you make with yourself, you are fully expressed in your masculinity. You are doing what must be done. Which is all there really is to do. We really do spend an extraordinary time doing everything but what must be done – it’s really no surprise that, by and large, we don’t get a lot done and spend a lot of life taking one step back for every two steps forward.

Perhaps more often than we think, all there is to do is find the beauty in silence – the magical pool from which everything springs forth, and eventually returns. Beethoven tells us to master the spaces in between the notes. Perhaps this has a spiritual application.

In any case, the first thing that must be done in the life of any man wishing to take his masculinity seriously, and be taken seriously by others, is to take a personal inventory of what must be done, what we say we will do, and what we know to do even if we never said it, and start doing it. A life’s work, indeed.

When a man’s actions match his words he can be relied on. He can be depended on, and therefore he is able to be a support to those around him. He will be someone that others look to for guidance. The essence of true masculinity, I believe, begins with the agreements we make with others and with ourselves, and the extent to which we take them seriously and honour them as we honour ourselves and our lives: that is, fully.

It is time now for this post, and myself to return back into silence.

– M

San Kernan 4
Photograph by Sean Kernan

Communities.

The communities we engage with actually shape our experience of life during the periods we engage with them, and impact on the results we get out of life during those periods. In this way they are a fundamental aspect of whether we grow, and become successful (in whichever capacity we wish to define our success) or we are held back, and continue to experience cycles of negativity, drama, unworkability, and poverty (in whichever way we choose to define poverty).

Quite simply put, you are who you hang out with.

There’s a saying in the self-improvement seminar circuit that you are the sum-total of the 5 people you spend the most time with, in terms of your salary, health, well-being, out look etc. Could changing this 5-strong team change the results you have in life?

Communities, however, have the potential to either excel our growth or hold us back.

The communities to which I am referring to might be friendship groups, singular friends that might be toxic (again, however innocent or “nice” they might be), places that you hang out, partners, and particularly any group that is formed around the consumption of anything addictive such as smoking, drug-taking, or drinking.

Let’s stop with the theory and nut down to some real life – hands dirty examples of some innocuous communities that ended up having a subtle but marked negative affect on my own life (disclaimer: I am 100% resposible for everything that works and everything that doesn’t in my own life)


1. The backpacking community (read: running around the world to avoid facing problems back at home)
2. The smoking household (It’s utterly impossible to quit permanently when you live with people that smoke)
3. Living with people with mental health problems (My road to recovery from depression began when I stopped surrounding myself with people that were depressed. No matter how much you might love the people who are holding you back, their stuff is their stuff. Not your circus, not your monkeys.)
4. Friends that don’t have their sh*t together.


That’s quite enough. I’m sure there’s enough above for us all to relate to, to some small degree. Before I stop, however, as I don’t like to make a practice of leaving things on a negative note, below is a list of communities that have positively impacted my life.


1. The hare-krsna community.
2. My family.
3. Local churches and ministers.
4. Business and self-improvement seminars including Landmark, Anthony Robbins, Eric Thomas etc (you’re guaranteed to find a few winning connections at places like this).
5. AA and NA.
6. Deliberately positioning myself around people who had that which I wanted but did not yet have, asking them how they did it, and reproducing.


Have a look at the communities in your life, map them out visually if you wish, and have a good hard look about how they are impacting you and your life. I would suggest, given that you manifested these communities in your current state, if you are wishing to move to a higher vibration and get results that you never thought possible through the prism of your current world, that cutting these away and conserving your energy while honouring yourself is a good way to start, and to then attach yourself to the new communities that form around you, as these were manifested in light of you being someone who is honouring them self. Anyone who you manifest during this period will act like energetic glue to keep you in a place like that, rather than as energetic glue to something that you really need to get away from to move forward.

I hope this has helped in some small way. Indeed, changing the communities that I am a part of, and further, stripping away almost all of them, has been the one of the biggest parts of the shift towards a more masterful life in these early stages. I wish you each the best in your own journeys.

With all my love,
Mikey.

Awake-in-a-Silver-Land1
Artwork by Cameron Grey (Parable Visions)

What Little I’ve Learned About Living Your Life From Principle.

I’ve learned a lot, and know a little. This has become increasingly more acute and evident in the past 3 months than ever before. I have my teacher, Paul Briggs, to thank for that.

So a little more on what little I know:

I’ve seen that when you take an action based on what you need, or on what the people who you trust inform you that you need, and not what your ego tells you that you want, things work out quite fantastically. That in doing so you are creating a beautiful precedent for the next step, which always tends to come from left of field and fits in perfectly.

I’ve seen that when you follow an ego based desire things almost always work out catastrophically. But also that the catastrophe is perfection as it creates precedent for change and motivates you away from where you’re currently looking (outside) to where you need to be (inside), albeit all in good time.

I’ve seen that being the best of a bad bunch doesn’t make you high vibration, it’s just evidence of having manifested low energy in the first place, and therefore a signpost to reality that, of course, my ego missed for the longest time.

It’s all going quite gloriously, actually. And I believe much of this is rooted in a further understanding of the diet (sugar-free, grain-free, soy-free – more info further below) required of me, and in higher levels of personal regimentation around it. My willfulness around doing what I want is dying slowly and calm and relative maturity is taking its place.

I’ve seen that an effective way to love the world is gently and quietly. To be bombastic and loud about your love and in your love for life is an aspect of fear, when examined properly. Hush, child. Hush.

I’m yet to see the inner workings of flow, however I’m prone to over-intellectualizing, but no need to be wary of this – just noticing, and noticing what notices works for now. Perfect, perfect.

I picked up Stacey Sullaphen’s book The Path To Pure Living around a month ago, and what I’ve seen most is that the degree to which I adhere to what is suggested by this profound woman (in addition to her even more profound cohort [I love that I called them cohorts], the above mentioned Paul Briggs) is the degree to which my life is transformed, and slowly – like a snail – the cloud I wear in my ignorance thins around me, and love is able to enter my life so freely as to tickle my cheeks until it elicits the smile it had hoped to see through the cloud but couldn’t. Because I was on drugs. What a silly thing to do.

Alas, we live and we learn. Only relative to the darkness of yesterday is the beauty of today so apparent. Actually everything is so neutral as to negate the concept of dark/light and today/yesterday. There is just now and it is everything and nothing. I guess just our experience of the now shifts as our vibration does so, too, and the shifting experience as we experience the now in a linear fashion creates the illusion of time and relative concepts such as dark and light. The message is the same, however, as it has always been: Just be. Do so Now. Only the access must shift to facilitate all that search for light in their own lives, and their individual preference for accessing the now, based on their individual experiences. I trust those who would most find this useful as an access will find it without much trouble.

I’ll see you wherever we’re going when we get there.


baby-common-goldeneye-ducks-leaving-nest-flying-for-first-time


Until then,
M

A Simple Life.

Writing about this is really fucking stretching me as it’s inviting me to look at how little I know about living simply.

Here’s what I have tried:

  1. Deleting all social media and online presence. (x2)
  2. Giving up sex, women and romance (x3)
  3. Being completely silent for a week (x4)
  4. Being vegan (x1 – for 3 years)
  5. Quitting sugar, wheat, grains, soy – eating paleo (x1)
  6. Quitting alcohol and recreational drugs (x1 – 3 years running)
  7. Stopping all use of prescription/non-prescription medicinal drugs inc. vitamins, minerals, and gym supplements (x1)
  8. Deleting my music library (x1)
  9. (Mutually) Ending an otherwise wonderful relationship (x4)
  10. Moving to a temple, waking at 3am after 4 hours sleep and meditating until 9am with no food every morning – incl. other austerities for 2 months (x1)

IMG_7470_1(There’s me on the left pining away at the secrets to the universe at 4am – starving! Those thermoses didn’t contain chicken noodle – it was hot water and that’s IT :P)


In other words, I’ve feel like I’ve had a fair crack.

… And yet I still couldn’t muster up enough knowledge to write something about a simple life.


“If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself.”
– Albert Einstein


I’m here instead to share what I don’t know, and perhaps in the coming weeks and months I’ll be a little more enlightened in my humility, and hopefully I’ll have something prescient to say to Albert’s kids.

I see people, like the monks and those going for morning walks, reveling in what little they have. In the above instances, a loin cloth, and the stinging winter morning air. Reveling like pigs in mud. I see pigs in mud reveling. Why is everyone reveling? I’m saving for a Rolex and I’m having a shitty old time.

Ha. I’m not really saving for a Rolex but if I were this is what I imagine my experience compared with pigs in shit might look like.

So might it be that complications such as the ubiquitous Facebook and other social media, material possessions, sex and stimulants might be, in the words of Thoreau (who gave up all his possessions to live in the woods in isolation and write Waldo), “frittering away [our lives with details]”?


banksy-4(Artwork by Banky)


I fuckin’ think so. If I stop for a moment and have a gander around, I’m pretty yuppy these days and I’ve been stripping away a lot hey. And if I take a moment to recollect some of the most “successful” (and that’s in as obvious double quotation marks as I can put it) moments of my life, they were certainly not the most simple and indeed not the happiest moments, either. The happiest moments I can remember have all been deep in forests, or at the beach, or when I was 6 and got thrown outside at night by my mother for misbehaving repeatedly (strong-ass woman gotta do what she gotta do – I was a terror at times) and I found a blanket and a chair in the garage to make a bed out of. I loved that chair. Like I seriously loved it.

Or how about at the Bristol backpackers with no home but some good rice and korma sauce? Or in Laos when I had no proper accommodation because I didn’t want to use up one of my Laotian family’s rent-able bungalows so I stayed in Papa’s workshop (which was a bungalow with only two walls and cloth where wood was missing that looked out every morning to a field of buffalo)? I loved that place! And when my friends were a cheeky monkey and a buffalo called Melon – I had not much in the way of money but we all looked after each other and my joviality was enough to attract enough hungry backpackers to the restaurant to hang with me that mama could make a living, too.


IMG_2528 IMG_2621
(Mama’s restaurant and my cheeky monkey friend – see, I tell no lies)


Upon reflection, there is certainly a link between joy and simplicity. Isn’t it that the best things are the simplest? I was certainly a happier bohemian and pauper than I was in the property development game. Look – I’m flat out depressed reading “The Accidental Developer” in this pic:


IMG_0207


In short I think there’s merit to that we can all gain a little something from cutting away that which we do not need. And also in the statement that we need a lot less than we think we do.. In reality we may even want less, too, if we were to only try it out.

I’m giving it a go. You should have a go with me.

What can you cut away today? For me? Clothes. I need not all these fancy garments.


“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”
– Henry David Thoreau


Love,
Mikey

Reduction, Balance and Flow

Reduction is king. Minimize. Cut away. Strip off. Throw overboard all that does not serve.

Live simply, smiling widely. Eat and love plentifully and you shall live abundantly.

Do not work against the grain. All that is yours is coming to you quite easefully if you would only look out for it, wait patiently, remain balanced and accept what is given to you.

I can cook. I can also write quite well from time to time. I’m a nurturer and gifted with impacting people. I have a good eye for what will work and what wont and I’m naturally determined and loving. So why did I try to be a property developer for two years (albeit with relative success.. even at the cost of 18 hour days and ruining my health?) Why did I work so hard to model? If I am to model, those that want me shall find me, of this I am sure. Why have I always worked so damn hard to get what I thought I wanted, but did not need and did not belong to me?

Ego.

And so now I cook. And from time to time I write. I love abundantly, smile widely, learn diligently and eat with discipline. It’s working out quite wonderfully.

If you do not need it, do not have it. Wait for what arrives. And let go of the need to have it all now, this step may not look like the golden path to glory, it may look nothing like it, but this step perfectly creates the next step. There is thusly nothing to do except what there is to do to complete this step and then accept what comes, which perfectly creates the next step. Follow the flow and remain balanced and relaxed (which underpins and further creates agility and flow) and you shall soon find your mastery.

Run along.

Best,
Mikey

modern-world-caricature-illustrations-steve-cutts-13
Artwork by Steve Cutts. You can find more of his work here, I thoroughly recommend it.

Ready Now, Steady On.

When student is ready, teacher will come.
– Japanese proverb.

Yes and no. When student is ready, teacher will appear.. however student might then dick around and run under trucks while teacher graciously points the path to Oz in all its emerald glory. Eventually, then, student might tire of being beaten up by trucks and teacher persists. Finally, student submits, teacher remains unchanged, and both teacher and student win.

The time for dicking around is over. Student is ready. It’s as simple as ‘listen and do.’

All that has been in the way is the ego, a tricky and elusive beast.

It really just comes down to trust. You trust the teacher or your don’t. If you do, then decisions must be made in spite of what you “want” and instead for what you need, even if you don’t believe (and the ego is certain to have you not believe) this is what you need.

Want = ego based desire.
Need = coming to you without your needing to endeavour for it. Just relax, be neutral and accept anything that comes in the knowing that it is graciously provided to you and is exactly what you need at that moment to complete this step which perfectly creates the next.

All you must do is complete this step very nicely so that you can progress to the next one properly. Step, step, step, run, run, run, fly baby, fly.

Linear progression. Consistent application of principles. No ego. Want something? Too bad. The great thing about trust and a teacher is that what you need is taken care of very delicately. What you want is irrelevant right now. What you need is the going concern, and the exchange rate is high – a bit of trust for everything you truly want in good time. Cash in, guys. If you don’t who knows when the market will turn. And that will be perfect too, but an entirely different reality in this lifetime than had you have listened.

See the power of the ego for destruction and havoc?

Tomorrow is created today. The tomorrow you always wanted can happen today. Take the necessary action, do what must be done and you can revel in life like a pig in mud. There’s something to that, too: Learning to be happy with what one has and cutting away all that isn’t necessary until you delight in what is already so – even if that’s a pile of mud.

edit: Tomorrow doesn’t exist. Today you create today, and all of life which all occurs today. Right now, in fact. This is the only moment in which all creation and destruction occurs, folding in on itself like the love in your mothers stomach for you. Or a pancake. Mm. Pancakes. 

Enough for one day.

Blessings,
M

modern-world-caricature-illustrations-steve-cutts-6
Image by Steve Cutts: Check out more of his brilliant work at www.stevecutts.com