Patience, then.

For many years I lacked self worth and so tirelessly worked to add it on from things outside myself: the gym for bigger muscles, a business for more money, and a more beautiful woman to say I’d done it. For many years I experienced madness, chaos, turmoil and suffering. Never was I relaxed, how could I be when there was so much to do! So much to become.. Never satisfied, never enough.

Now I never needed to be enough for anyone else. I was working to be enough for myself. To match the soaring standard I set myself. I never stopped to contemplate if it was ever possible for someone who is not enough to one day look in the mirror and say “I am enough, now.” It took meeting my teacher, and being goaded with the question “Do you love yourself?” I paused. His answer, already.

And so began a journey towards true love. One of cutting away romance, sex, unhealthy food, bitching and moaning, boyish behavior, medications and all else that did not serve.

As I came to honour myself with my diet, foundation was built underneath me. I became more solid, stable, calm and consistent. I saw that wanting for things was a sure-fire way to prevent myself from getting them. All there is to do is what there is to be done at this moment, and with attention firmly focused doing what needs to be done, all will come. Next thing I know here comes the perfect job, here comes money, here comes understanding, here comes opportunity. The need to chase subsided.

Coming from inside of that there is nothing external that can give me my self worth  I no longer need to become unbalanced to go and search for what I can add to be enough. I don’t need even what I currently have. The job, money, clothes, opportunities are just circumstances and byproducts of my self-worth. Let them go, how exciting. I wonder what will come to take their place. I am my own temple, and there is nowhere to pray but here.

When you know that all if moving to perfection, when you love, patience is virtue of the moment. A virtue I am grateful for. Relaxing into knowing that this moment doesn’t need to look like anything other than it does is what there is to do. And I do what must be done.




More On The Step That You Are In.

Each footstep takes you somewhere different depending on the level of consciousness you put into it.

Is it taking you to a pub. Your house? A better home?
To honour yourself? To destruction?

Each footstep becomes a spiritual practice when you are nowhere else but in that step. I’m talking about literal footsteps here.

You see the way that we take steps on the way home is not so dissimilar from the way that we take steps in our life – that is, more or less unconsciously. All purpose and no  deliberateness. When we walk like this on the way home, and forget to see the world with fresh eyes we miss the trees and and the birds. When we walk this way in our life we forget to see the beautiful people and we prohibit the higher powers, whatever they are to you, from orchestrating our life like a symphonic shriek of wisdom, glory and beauty.

A lot of the beauty in walking consciously is revealed to you when you slow down and forget the destination – just as in life. When you go really slow it starts to occur to you that there is nothing to do but complete this step. And after that all there is to do is the next step. From this perspective we can see that nothing is really wrong, unless we are unable to take the next step. If this is the case for you, the moment is most certainly telling you to stop and reflect on your beauty. When it is time for the next step, the next step will be presented to you. Take it, and so on. In this, the destination of the next step is the next step and the destination right now is this step. You have already arrived. Well done, you.

The world is much simpler when all you do is focus on the step you are in – literally, and metaphorically.